re: “I can’t come to class because I have to go home early…” I am so sorry to hear that you are being forced against your will to miss class and extend your Thanksgiving vacation by several days. I know all too well how hard it is when external pressures limit our freedom and ability to make choices. You can do this — stay strong.
But I care about what’s important
re: “I hope I’m not going to miss anything important…” Nah, out of consideration for you and the other students who will be missing today’s class I’ve decided to make it a pointless waste of time for the suckers who didn’t just take off for Thanksgiving several days early.
re: “Please tell me if I’m missing anything important…” Important? Nothing so important that I couldn’t just it type up and send it to you in a quick email instead.
re: “I assume it is just a regular class and nothing important…” Who knows, this could be the most important class session of your life. But who am I to decide for you what is important and what is not?
re: “Will I miss anything important?” To be honest, I’ve just been telling myself that what I teach is important in order to maintain my motivation to do all the hard work that teaching requires. But now that you ask, I have to admit that it is all useless and I’m just going to go back to bed.
And sucking up is always important, right?
re: “I hope you’ll accept my [extremely overdue] paper because I really enjoyed listening to Pearl Jam while I wrote it and I thought you’d appreciate that!!!” I’m glad you enjoyed it, but no. And ewwww.